julliette_rose (julliette_rose) wrote,

I feel primal

Im finally starting to feel like I can function but my libido seems to be holding me back. I dont understand what is wrong with me there are people that go years without sex. I thought it would go dormant but it seems to be getting worse. Now its just an irritating reminder that Richies gone. I feel like a fucking perverted teenage boy or girl. I dont feel like I should have to take the time everyday to take care of it
Its only been a month!! I feel like that stupid movie. Even if I was to go out there and get it it wouldnt be fair to the other person and my number would get higher I cant do that. Besides technically Im still in a relationship. argh!!!!!!!!!There has got to be some sort of pill out there this is just ridiculous I need sleep and I have things to do. My human sexuality class is not helping either. I have to write a 10 page term paper on sextoys due in two weeks. On another note my work ends may 2nd and they ended up screwing me over but Im just glad I dont have to deal with their politics in two weeks. I need to find another job but in the meantime I love working at the preschool the minute the kids called me Teacher I was ecstatic!!!!! I have so many plans I dont like how unorganized they are. The kids deserve more. The facility is really nice though and the teachers are nice but a few are clearly burnt out. They have 4 different classrooms prepreschool for 1 and half to 3 depending on level preschool 2-6 ability level and kindergarden which is 4-6. Some teachers have the kids so engaged and you can almost see the synapses occuring. Others though rule with such an iron fist combined with fear and the kids just cry and shut down. On thursday I worked with the preschool class and ended up running it because the teacher had to deal with a boy that was screaming bloody murder after she told him that monsters were going to eat him because he didnt sit down and write his name. Seriously. I was not prepared but i was able to make it work. I let them each lead the class in their favorite song but by the 5th twinkle twinkle and 3rd barney song I led the class in the wheels on the bus. After that I went through the alphabet and asked the kids to name items with each letter i ended up putting them in mini groups so it was like a kid game show the winning group got to pick a song to sing many more barney songs ensued but there was this cute little girl who convinced her group to sing jesus loves me so because the bible says so I think thats what its called complete with a little dance and pantomime I wanted to put her on tv and just put her in my pocket sooo adorable.They even fed me a lunch of korean chicken 4 wings 4 grapes and a spoonful of rice. The number of the day was 4. On the play ground the girls kept picking flowers and bringing them to me and two little boys emphasized that they were going to give me more flowers and then others asked for flowers in the end i ended up only having two flowers. It was amazing and exhausting dealing with owies tears laughter yelling and precious moments all in a 4 hour period.

On another happier note I love working at the preschool kindergarden the minute the kids called me Teacher I was ecstatic!!!!
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